Hamburger Hands: The New Lie Detector

Many people complain about the auto correct function on their phones. While some stories are humorous, some get people in real trouble. Texting is great in a quick pinch, but a full blown conversation is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. Pick up the damn phone and talk! Things get lost in translation. Well, things get lost in text to. Especially if you have big, old, fat, hamburger hands.

For example, how do you half text one person and half text another person then send the entire thing to the first person? What if the conversation was already done with person #1? What if person #2 has their own phone? In this case, Hamburger Hands got busted cheating on his wife! Yep, you heard me! CHEATING on his wife. Back peddle, Back peddle, Back peddle!!!! After person #1 said WHAT??? The simple response was sorry! My response to this situation.....BUSTED! Then, the lamest excuse ever made in the history of texting mishaps was made. "Oh no, you misunderstood. The first half was to my wife and the second half to my young daughter." Hamburger Hands goes on in the text using the terms "angel and love you". Hamburger Hands proved that he is indeed a liar. To make it worse, the cheater couldn't wait to get rid of his kids before sending the ridiculous message.

Once again, Karma wins. Truth wins. Liars lose. Cheaters lose. Moral of the story, if you have hamburger hands, DON'T TEXT! At the very least, proofread and make sure it's going to the RIGHT person. Don't try to cover it up with more lies! What an example this guy is for his children. He gets my FLAMING IDIOT of the WEEK award. Congratulations loser.

When life hands you A lemon......

.......give it to your son to eat. Or make a kick ass pan of lemon chicken. BTW, my son has been eating lemons, rind and all, since he was two. No Vitamin C issues there. Any who, lemons are very deceitful. So bright, so fresh, so inviting, but sooooo SOUR! A lemon comes into your life with much potential. Recently, I threw out a lemon. The once vibrant fruit turned wrinkly, gray, and squishy. In essence don't lose your way or get lost in the refrigerator. Now it is time to find a new, vibrant lemon. With that one, I will make sweet lemonade because this time I will find the RIGHT sugar.

So why talk about a lemon? Well, it's symbolic. It is all about potential. You go to store with an idea in mind. You search for just the right one. You bring it home in hopes of making something great. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, you have to re-invent yourself, your plan. You could just lay down in defeat or rise to the challenge. Like I said, I just tossed a bad lemon. No need to cry! After all, it's just a lemon. So pizza it was:)

Well, this is my very first blog. Hopefully, you didn't think it was too crazy. A friend told me that this can be very therapeutic. I think so. I am trying to stay as bold, sharp, fresh, and tangy as that lemon. This is a great outlet for frustrations or just to BS. As I start my search to find the awesome person I used to be, I hope you will follow me on my journey to good times and laughter. Leave some comments if you would like:)